🎧 homophonic | pcs | yukichi (fukuzawa)

[silicone]

There's no need to fear the past. The past is just a memory.

(in retrospect i regret my choice of filter name)

Comments

[allmenare]

[OH NO his stoic look absolutely crumples into shock, and then sadness. And when Eiden moves to hug him, he draws his arms around him and hugs him back tightly.

Someone understands.

He expected to go his whole life without finding anyone who could understand.]

[silicone]

When he was trying to get them killed, wearing my fucking body like a skin... I could feel them too. It was terrible.

[ he squeezes a little more tightly. ]

I'm just glad they know me better... I'm glad they didn't believe all those shitty things he said with my mouth.

These people are attached to you, differently... but. You're responsible for them too in your own way... and you hold them together.

[allmenare]

[How awful. Fukuzawa just holds onto Eiden while he explains.]

They didn't believe it because they know you, Eiden. They know someone they care for wouldn't try to hurt them.

But it sounds like you already found that out, didn't you?

[silicone]

[ he nods quietly, and eventually pulls away just a bit, not enough to release him from being touched. he just brings his hands back around to run his thumb along the line of his robes. ]

It took a really long time.

[ he leans his head a bit and just. presses an ear right over fukuzawa's heart, against the fabric. ]

[allmenare]

[Oh. Well his heartbeat will feel like a normal, steady pace at first, but once he realizes what Eiden is doing it picks up slightly.]

Eiden?

[silicone]

{ after a moment, looking upwards. ]

Yukichi?

[allmenare]

..it's nothing.

[He's just.

Going to let Eiden rest his head there. It's fine.]

[silicone]

Tell me.

[ he has his attention now, but he doesn't seem bothered. ]

[allmenare]

[Noooo he's embarrassed now! His heartbeat picks up just a little bit.]

...what do you hear down there?

[silicone]

[ he doesn't hesitate, because wow, that was kind of surreal, to feel the way it picks up. ]

Your heartbeat.

[ closing his eyes. ]

You.

[allmenare]

And what does it tell you?

[He reaches up with a hand to tuck Eiden's hair behind his ear.]

[silicone]

[ the fingertips pushing his hair back earn a small laugh. it tickles just a little. ]

It tells me that you're here. That you're alive.

[ very quietly: ]

That something excited you a second ago.

[allmenare]

I suppose you could say it was that.

[Eiden seems to blur the line between surprise and excitement for him these days.]

[silicone]

[ he raises a brow ]

Suppose? Then... tell me what it was.

[ softer, a beat, don't look away don't look away don't: ]

All I wanted was to try and memorize the beating.

[allmenare]

[He fucking looks away, his heart racing now.]

Is that so?

[silicone]

[ bruh! eiden just laughs a little more, ducking his head. ]

Yeah. It's a pretty important sound to me.

[allmenare]

Then take your time and memorize it.

[He really can't say no to Eiden anymore, it's funny.]

[silicone]

Would you wanna do the same?

[allmenare]

That might be harder to do with our height difference.

[silicone]

I... could always lay down?

[allmenare]

There's another way.

[He'll move to take Eiden's hand in his, pressing his fingers against Eiden's wrist. He can feel the heartbeat easily this way.]

[silicone]

[ not at all what he expected, but also... exactly what he wants. he flushes a little at the ears, and it bleeds down to his face. his pulse is fluttering within seconds, fingers lax as he tries to steady himself. ]

It's the next best thing... right?

... I won't forget what it feels like.

[allmenare]

It will work for now.

[A steady, strong pulse...proof that Eiden is still alive.]

I won't either.

[silicone]

[ eiden is pretty sure he'd never be good enough to be tethered to fukuzawa in such a way. so he enjoys this for now, imprints the beat of his steady heart in his muscle memory, soft taps with his fingertips. his own pulse evens out eventually, settling into something steady and soft. ]

Yukichi...?

[allmenare]

[He looks up to Eiden, curious.]

Yes?