🎧 homophonic | pcs | yukichi (fukuzawa)

[silicone]

There's no need to fear the past. The past is just a memory.

(in retrospect i regret my choice of filter name)

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[allmenare]

It's not your fault.
It's the fault of whoever lied to get innocent people killed.

...sure. Meet me at the park.

[silicone]

[ eiden won't text back, he's going to just make his way out to the park. he's wearing his clothes from trial and topper is nowhere to be found. his hands are in his pocket and he just looks.

bad. like you know when you can tell someone is just. dying inside. ]

[allmenare]

[Oh yes, he knows exactly what that looks like. Which is why he won't wait for Eiden to come towards him, he's going right over to scoop him up in a tight hug.]

[silicone]

[ oh he





he's just shaking and trembling soundlessly the minute he's hugged. he wants to push away, but he just grabs his clothing instead until his knuckles are white. ]

[allmenare]

[The worst part is, he can't even say 'it's going to be alright', because he doesn't know if it will be. All he has to offer are hugs, and hugs he shall give.

After a while, he tips his head so he can plant a kiss on Eiden's forehead, but he still hangs onto the man.]

[silicone]

[ oh the forehead kiss earns him eyes looking up at him. he's trying not to cry with his mouth open but he's a stupid baby and definitely did, and now he's wiping his face off with the back of his hand as fast as he can, pushing away a little now. ]

... Did you think we were covering for each other...? Did you think I was gonna lie?

[allmenare]

No. I trust you.

[It's like he said at the trial too: when he trusts someone, he does it fully and doesn't revoke that trust. Not unless something truly heinous happens.]

I wasn't thinking clearly. I was scared for the sake of everyone on my team.

[silicone]

[ he looks so fucking torn, so he says all he can say: ]

Yeah.

So was I.

[allmenare]

And that's alright.

[He's not mad about it. Just...sad, that they couldn't find the right answer. And he kind of wishes this horrible choice could have been put on his team instead of Eiden's.]

...if you're mad and want me to leave, I'll understand.

[silicone]

[ he shakes his head. ]

I just... want to sit somewhere and hold your hand.

I'm scared about tomorrow. I just want to enjoy tonight as best I can now.

[allmenare]

Whatever you want of me, I'll give it to you.

[He's scared about tomorrow too. Which is why he'll stay right there and hold Eiden's hand for as long as he wants.]

[silicone]

[ good. he will take them somewhere where the grass is soft and sit and hold his hand. ]

I'm going to find out who did it. Even if it doesn't matter at the next trial. I want to know who damned us for Shenhe's murder.

[ softer ] I don't want revenge, and I don't want to hurt them. But I want them to look me in the eyes. And I want them to tell me why it was worth it to them...

[allmenare]

On the contrary, it does matter. A lot.

People are being forced to murder, Eiden. Libby didn't murder willingly, and I would bet that the others are the same. And if someone is being forced to murder, who are they going to target: any random person, or someone who brutally shredded another person's body into pieces?

[silicone]

[ sharply ]

I get that. More than anything. I know we're forced to play a game where we murder each other one at a time.

... But I want to know. More than anything, I need to know. Especially because now... [ his voice trembles. ] Now...

[allmenare]

Then we'll find the answer. It might not be in time for tomorrow, but I'll find it. One way or another.

[He means it too. If this is what Eiden wants, then it's what he's going to do.]

[silicone]

[ he just looks downwards into his lap. he looks... miserable and uncomfortable and just. unhappy overall. ]

... Please be safe, Fukuzawa.

[allmenare]

[He feels insecure at that- he immediately things 'not Yukichi?'- but he just shakes his head.]

I can't promise that. Anything can happen here. We're only guaranteed today.

[silicone]

[ insecurity week comes for us all, but also eiden can't look at him, he's so unhappy still. ]

I still have no idea how it happened... it went by so quickly. Just. Suddenly we couldn't say or do anything that would matter.

Someone really pinned this on us perfectly. That's so scary... [ a small, sad laugh. ]

[allmenare]

There are people like that out there. Callous enough to kill without blinking an eye, and self-assured enough not to feel guilt when someone else is blamed for it.

[He gives his hand a little squeeze.]

But they're not the majority in the world. They're a very, very small group of people. Most people are honest, most people are good-hearted. And when the world feels dark, it helps me to think of the good that people do.

[silicone]

[ he nods a little bit at that. ]

I know. I have to just... keep fighting this unhappiness. I want to drown in it, but I have to do it.

[ he bites his tongue ] I want to fight for the happiness of my team, for Yakumo... for... everyone. But in order to do that, I have to fight for my own happiness first. [ and then, softer: ] Can you keep a secret?

[allmenare]

[Eiden is so brave, it warms Fukuzawa's heart. Even though he's terrified he's still trying his best. How could he not admire that?]

I'll keep it until the day I die.

[A pause.]

...you know what I mean. It's safe with me.

[silicone]

[ he hesitates. ]

I won't tell you the entire thing, because... it's a lot and unimportant. But. We can look at one team's rankings a week.

[ looking at him out of the corner of his eye. ]

[allmenare]

...and what did you see?

[That's such a useful power, and he must have seen something if he's mentioning it..]

[silicone]

I haven't checked yet.

[ gazing down ]

I plan on checking when the rankings shift on Monday.

[allmenare]

[He blinks.]

So you're not going to...

[Eiden's text message made it sound like he was offering himself up to die.]