🎧 homophonic | pcs | yukichi (fukuzawa)

[silicone]

There's no need to fear the past. The past is just a memory.

(in retrospect i regret my choice of filter name)

Comments

[allmenare]

I was thinking to stay outside. That way if that frog returns, it will be easier to get away from it. Possibly on the bridge or by the canals.

What do you think?

[He's not saying it but he wants to be near Eiden, to protect him from any danger.]

[silicone]

[ uwah... fukuzawa........ but eiden does blink a bit, and he definitely feels the same. he folds his arms for a moment because man. thursday again? big problems. ]

That's a really smart idea. [ and kind of better than actually getting trapped in a place, right? is that better? he's not good at deciding this kind of thing, but he trusts fukuzawa. he bites his lip in thought and then: ] I can bring some snacks or something from the food trucks for us if you like.

[ he has inserted himself in this plan already can you believe. ]

[allmenare]

[This works because honestly Fukuzawa would have stayed in the warehouse if not for Eiden.]

I'll be fine without snacks. But is there anyone else you would want to bring?

[silicone]

[ oh! ]

I'm bringing some anyways. I bet you'll eat.

[ he glances briefly at his phone for a minute. ] Mm, could I bring Yakumo...? He's from where I was taken from and he gets a little anxious without me around.

[allmenare]

Of course. I believe I have spoken to Yakumo before too. He has black hair with red underneath, right?

[silicone]

[ he nods quickly ]

That's the one, yeah. Good eye. Heh.

Is there anyone you wanted to bring along too? To keep an eye on?

[allmenare]

I think my team will be alright. Livio is with people from his world, and Simon and Amelia will be safe in the warehouse.

[He thinks nobody can enter the team warehouses if they're not from that team, even on murder night, so.]

[silicone]

[ thinks abt hikari...... frowns. me, not eiden.) ]

Then it's a date! The canals tonight, heh.

[ he says it shamelessly (yakumo will be there, too! and maybe other people who knows!) it's a date. ]

Say, Fukuzawa... did you see the new rule in the rulebook the other day...?

[allmenare]

[A DATE...don't call it that weeps he will die.

For now he's focusing on the second part.]

Yes? Did you want to share something with me?

[He feels honored.]

[silicone]

I've already shared a secret with someone.

But... I can share it with you too.

[ maple voice: if Eiden kisses Fukuzawa he'll get a secret
me: bet ]

Will you lean down a little? I can whisper it in your ear. It's... very secret.

[allmenare]

[Don't blame this on me!!!

But he'll assume Eiden is actually going to tell him a secret, and he leans down a bit to listen.]

[silicone]

[ you're right i'm blaming the rng gods and mods and us. we did this.

but also he'll give him a secret for the bad idea he has. like a reward before what he has planned in the moment. he lifts his hands carefully, but they hover a little and he brings them down again. ]

I think I might be crushing a little.

[ as he shifts forward and will just very carefully plant one on him. a Smooch. just a little smooch. eiden has never apologized for a kiss in his life but he may be thinking about it right now. ]

[allmenare]

[It's funny because he does not see the smooch coming at all, he barely has time to consider the words before it's happening. But almost as soon as it's done Fukuzawa stands up straight and covers the bottom of his face with his hand because he is a mix of several thoughts and feelings and doesn't want anyone to see.]

Eiden. Even if I weren't the worst person about these sorts of things, I'm nearly twice your age.

[There's the secret: Fukuzawa is awful at romance. The rumors on his profile are true.]

[silicone]

[ eiden pulls back easily, hands resting in his pockets now as he gives fukuzawa a look while he's talking like i am well aware ]

Yeah, don't worry, I can read. [ profiles.

but he just shakes his head a little. ] I've shared my secret with you. And I'm... [ just dully gazing at this man's hand over his mouth. was it bad. his ears are fuckin red at this point. he shakes his head. ]

Forget it. So. Tell me. What makes you the worst for this kind of thing? Besides having both feet in the grave?

[allmenare]

[It's not bad, exactly, Fukuzawa isn't mad at him or anything. Feelings are feelings, he would never admonish someone for their feelings. Being the object of those feelings, however, makes him feel embarrassed and insecure. A small part of him feels happy, but that part is overridden by negative thoughts.]

I don't pick partners well, and I drive away anyone who gets close. I'm...I can't be what you need. I'm sorry.

[Also, going unsaid: he's afraid of fucking things up again. His fear is stronger than red string magic this time.]

[silicone]

Hey. It's a crush, not a commitment or anything... it's not something I'm asking you to reciprocate. Promise.

[ a beat. eiden is very good at talking about his feelings that matter, feelings that glom onto other people. he might have been texting with someone and mentioned letting this feeling Fester and Die because it's silly and totally dumb but he had to go and say it so now he's just remembering to breathe. ]

I've really enjoyed spending time with you and I want to keep spending time with you... if that's okay. I want you to tell me why you don't pick partners well or... why you feel like you have to push people away when they choose to be near you.

[ he hovers with uncertainty. ]

[allmenare]

...alright. If it's just your feelings, then that will be fine.

[He's still struggling a bit but he can't be mad at how someone feels. As long as nothing is expected of him, then this will be fine. Probably.

He sees the hovering though, so he sighs.]

You can stay, it's fine. I'm not mad.

[That, at least, is a genuine feeling. No red strings attached. Watch him dodge the question about why he's pushing people away though.]

[silicone]

... Fukuzawa.

[ he frowns. it says it all. "don't dodge my question!" ]

[allmenare]

[He makes a face.]

I would rather not talk about that. None of it was during good times in my life.

[silicone]

That bad...?

[ he lets out a soft breath, but he accepts that. ]

... Alright, well. I'm the last person to press on that kind of thing. But that doesn't mean I'm just going to fuck off... okay?

[allmenare]

I wouldn't expect you to.

[He'll pause, and then he pats Eiden on the head.]

There's nothing wrong with you or your feelings, don't feel like this is your fault.

[Past baggage.]

[silicone]

[ he huffs and takes his hand, the one that's patting him on the head. he'll just hold it in his. ]

I'm not taking it personally. I promise.

[ he glances down between them. ]

I get it, though. There's not much I can really offer you anyways. I... [ at this point, he's figured it out, and it sucks—and he wants to pursue this. maybe. if his own emotions will let him come monday next week (spoiler alert, they will). a shrug.

they're going to die, but for some reason, he doesn't feel as afraid, standing here. his pulse is hammering. ]

I just... maybe want to know what happened. That's all.

[allmenare]

[He really doesn't want to go into the nitty gritty details of what happened. That's for memshare week. But he can offer a little bit at least.]

...

It is often the case that I think someone is a good person and open myself up to trusting them, but years down the line I find out how rotten they actually are.

[silicone]

[ that's honestly all he needs to hear (bc i want memshares). this is good enough for him for now. he knows they're... still basically strangers. maybe. ]

... That's a hard thing to go through.

[ shakes his head ]

Thank you for telling me... it can be hard to admit to anything like that.

[allmenare]

[It's hard to say anything about himself, and he knows why.]

Let me say that I don't think you're a bad person. It's just hard to move on.