silicone | 🎧 homophonic | pcs

Yeah.

And it sounded like you were telling me to find other prospects. Which I'm not really interested in doing. I told you... you don't have to be anyone but yourself for me. I don't want you to be different. I just want... you. Worn down, tired, wary of strangers and crowds... the way you care about every small creature and every person... how we can disagree comfortably.

It's not about being what I wanted. What I want is already there.

Do you understand?

[Wow for a moment Fukuzawa looks stunned and emotionally vulnerable!]

But...you gave my haori back.

Livio and Amelia were devastated...

I... I wanted them to have the last piece of you. I didn't want to keep it all to myself. I didn't know until after I got your note.

I didn't discard it... [ his breath hitches a little bit. ] I didn't... I wouldn't... I just wanted it to return to its home. With your team.

I thought I was going to be gone forever, Eiden. That's why I gave it to you specifically. So you could remember me, or choose to forget if you wanted.

When I woke up with it draped over me, I took that as your choice.

Why would I want to forget you?

[ gripping the grass tightly between his fingers. ]

You should know me better than that.

I didn't take giving it back to your team as discarding you. [ he closes his eyes, hunching his shoulders a little ] Couldn't even solve your damn murder until way later. I'm an idiot. What right did I have to it... none.

Edited 2023-08-01 01:16 (UTC)

You're young, you have your whole life ahead of you. And despite everything, we only knew each other for about a month. I didn't expect you to just immediately be fine with it, but I didn't want you to feel bad about moving on. Death is just a natural part of the world, Eiden. Barring some horrible accident, I would have always died well before you did.

[The sad part of the 21 year age gap.]

Yukichi... if you want to get rid of me, just say it straight. Don't use age as ann excuse.

Because otherwise I assume you're going deaf and can't hear me when I say that I'm not going anywhere. And I'm not ditching you...

I want you, you know. But this only works if you want me back...

[Hilariously it's probably the pining from the red string that hits him the hardest here. He wants to hug Eiden so bad.

He's quiet for a while. And when he does talk, he doesn't answer Eiden's question directly.]

Assuming I don't get erased permanently, I'm going back to my world. And I know you intend on doing the same. We both have people counting on us in our respective worlds. We'll likely never see each other again.

I'm not trying to get rid of you or give any excuses, but I need to know if that fact changes anything about how you feel.

[ sharply, suddenly, his head snapping up ] You're not going to be erased permanently.

[ yeah, it's bad. eiden didn't expect to feel that tug again, and it hits him like a wave for a moment before he sits up to wrap his arms around his knees. he taps quietly with a scarred hand, thoughtfully for a moment. his voice eases up: ]

Anyways... It doesn't change anything. I don't want to call it here because I was afraid of a future without you. I want to take this with you to the end. Even if we have to say goodbye...

Maybe that's selfish... but I'd rather have as many memories of you as I can possibly get before we leave.

I care about you. I haven't stopped caring about you for a single minute. Okay?

[Fukuzawa is quiet for a moment, considering things.

Then he steps over and crouches down in front of Eide, so they're at the same level. Reaching out his hand like this, it's almost like they're close enough to hold hands.]

I never knew what you saw in me. I've made a lot of bad decisions, many of them just in this game. But...I would like knowing you to be one of the good ones.

[He doesn't want to end this on a bad note. He doesn't want to break things off now and leave Eiden feeling miserable for the rest of his time here.

To the end of the game it is, then.]

[ he's unbearably close, even if he's intangible. his fingers shift downwards to rest beside what he can see of his image. his chest feels so heavy, and he breathes, just like he remembers being taught. he has to stay steady, there's only a few more days left of this, right?

they should take them as they come, enjoy what moments they get. wow this sounds dumb and cheesy. ah well. ]

I see a lot of things. You're stubborn, and you piss me off sometimes, you have perspective, even if I don't always agree with it. [ a pause ] You're really kind... it takes a while to get there with you, but I think it's worth it. I wouldn't change a thing.

[ lifting his eyes a little to finally meet his. ]

[He can feel his heart clench in his chest when he sees those eyes. Even if he's right there, Fukuzawa misses Eiden so much. It feels like his very soul wants to cry.]

...

Think we'll see each other again in person before this is over?

I definitely plan on it...

I'm not leaving without knowing you're safe and sound first.

[ a huff. ]

I bet... it's probably been tough for you too, huh?

It's...manageable. Everyone over here can be characters from time to time.

[He doesn't dislike all of them, but he finds himself circling into madness with each passing day.]

You know how I am with strangers. Most of these people are strangers to me.

Then we'll have to make sure we get you all back to us soon. Really soon.

[ he hates this, how badly he wants to reach out and hold his dumb face or just hug him tightly and tell him he just has to hold on for a little while longer (he doesn't know how long, but compared to the weeks that have passed, what's a few more days?) ]

... I left you flowers. Did you see...?

I did. It was very touching, thank you.

[He does want to be remembered, even if this is temporary.]

Good. [ resting his chin on his arms. ] I wanted to remember you each week, so... I did my best. To make sure you knew you were important to me. That I wouldn't forget you. You were on my mind every day.

[ SIR IT WAS RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR FACE ALL ALONG. THE QUOTE. THE FLOWERS. THE PICTURES WITH AMELIA. THE HAIR WAS A FUNNY BONUS. ]

Edited 2023-08-03 02:57 (UTC)

[HE KNEW ABOUT THE OTHER STUFF BUT HE DIDN'T REALIZE THE HAIR WAS FOR HIM]

You were on mine every day too.

...I miss you. Even if you're right here, it feels like you're miles away.

[ it was very out of pocket. he only told a couple people. ]

... Really?

[ how do you even scoot closer to a weird projection/ghost? he tries anyways, gripping his pin until he's white-knuckled. ]

I'm trying my best. I'm sorry. [ what is he apologizing for? he doesn't even know. ] I wish I could do more.

I do too. We're both so powerless here.

[Neither of them are to blame. It just...is.]

Just remember, even when you can't see me, I'm right here with you.

[ he covers up a very weak laugh ]

... You sound like a pretty cheesy movie right now, Yukichi...

[Don't call him out! He's suddenly looking away, embarrassed.]

Apologies.

No, don't look away, I like it -

[ reaching out even if he can't touch him, just enough that maybe it could be were they not separated by whatever all of this is. ]

[No! He's embarrassed!!!]

Now you know why I don't talk much.

[Because he sounds corny when he does.]

I don't mind it...

Maybe we should go see like a cool samurai movie next time...

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