the fact that he says his name gets the waterworks. eiden starts tearing up soundlessly, like he's biting it back. he's cried enough today, evident with his face in wenzhou's hands, but it's not enough. it's four weeks' worth of tears falling in gouts as his face screws up. ]
... Wenzhou I can't lose him. [ wetly: ] I love him.
[ releasing his face, he wraps both arms around him, holding him together as the pieces start to fall apart all over again.
and if there's anyone that would get it, it's wenzhou. the fear of losing fei du, of watching him put the spotlight on himself, the target - and now, yakumo wiill be... ]
I know. I know, Eiden. I'm so, so sorry - you shouldn't have to face this. This shouldn't have been a decision he had to make. [ you shouldn't have to say goodbye. ]
he will hold all of the pieces in place, as best he can. so that eiden can fall apart as much as he needs - even if he already has, even if he's already cried his heart out to yakumo, he won't let go. ]
He's protecting you. I know. [ fei du tried the same, after all. and he would do the same goddamn thing if he were in yakumo's position. ] This place was never fair, this game was always going to be rigged, but... this wasn't your burden to bear.
[ He's going to need all the support available to him. ]
[ it's a fierce, low snarl, vehement, but it's said in such a way it's almost like they're in a hallowed place. like it's necessary for him to keep his voice down as he says it. ]
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the fact that he says his name gets the waterworks. eiden starts tearing up soundlessly, like he's biting it back. he's cried enough today, evident with his face in wenzhou's hands, but it's not enough. it's four weeks' worth of tears falling in gouts as his face screws up. ]
... Wenzhou I can't lose him. [ wetly: ] I love him.
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and if there's anyone that would get it, it's wenzhou. the fear of losing fei du, of watching him put the spotlight on himself, the target - and now, yakumo wiill be... ]
I know. I know, Eiden. I'm so, so sorry - you shouldn't have to face this. This shouldn't have been a decision he had to make. [ you shouldn't have to say goodbye. ]
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I wanted them to pick me. I fought them.
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he will hold all of the pieces in place, as best he can. so that eiden can fall apart as much as he needs - even if he already has, even if he's already cried his heart out to yakumo, he won't let go. ]
He's protecting you. I know. [ fei du tried the same, after all. and he would do the same goddamn thing if he were in yakumo's position. ] This place was never fair, this game was always going to be rigged, but... this wasn't your burden to bear.
[ He's going to need all the support available to him. ]
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[ he buries his face into his shoulder. ] Should have been me, it should have been fucking me.
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[ it's a fierce, low snarl, vehement, but it's said in such a way it's almost like they're in a hallowed place. like it's necessary for him to keep his voice down as he says it. ]
It shouldn't have to be any of you, Eiden.
happy 100!!!!!!
[ funny. it's so funny. he's not smiling he just sits here buried. ]