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Entry tags:
🎧 homophonic | pcs | yukichi (fukuzawa)
There's no need to fear the past. The past is just a memory.
(in retrospect i regret my choice of filter name)
(in retrospect i regret my choice of filter name)
[ you're right i'm blaming the rng gods and mods and us. we did this.
but also he'll give him a secret for the bad idea he has. like a reward before what he has planned in the moment. he lifts his hands carefully, but they hover a little and he brings them down again. ]
I think I might be crushing a little.
[ as he shifts forward and will just very carefully plant one on him. a Smooch. just a little smooch. eiden has never apologized for a kiss in his life but he may be thinking about it right now. ]
but also he'll give him a secret for the bad idea he has. like a reward before what he has planned in the moment. he lifts his hands carefully, but they hover a little and he brings them down again. ]
I think I might be crushing a little.
[ as he shifts forward and will just very carefully plant one on him. a Smooch. just a little smooch. eiden has never apologized for a kiss in his life but he may be thinking about it right now. ]
[It's funny because he does not see the smooch coming at all, he barely has time to consider the words before it's happening. But almost as soon as it's done Fukuzawa stands up straight and covers the bottom of his face with his hand because he is a mix of several thoughts and feelings and doesn't want anyone to see.]
Eiden. Even if I weren't the worst person about these sorts of things, I'm nearly twice your age.
[There's the secret: Fukuzawa is awful at romance. The rumors on his profile are true.]
Eiden. Even if I weren't the worst person about these sorts of things, I'm nearly twice your age.
[There's the secret: Fukuzawa is awful at romance. The rumors on his profile are true.]
[ eiden pulls back easily, hands resting in his pockets now as he gives fukuzawa a look while he's talking like i am well aware ]
Yeah, don't worry, I can read. [ profiles.
but he just shakes his head a little. ] I've shared my secret with you. And I'm... [ just dully gazing at this man's hand over his mouth. was it bad. his ears are fuckin red at this point. he shakes his head. ]
Forget it. So. Tell me. What makes you the worst for this kind of thing? Besides having both feet in the grave?
Yeah, don't worry, I can read. [ profiles.
but he just shakes his head a little. ] I've shared my secret with you. And I'm... [ just dully gazing at this man's hand over his mouth. was it bad. his ears are fuckin red at this point. he shakes his head. ]
Forget it. So. Tell me. What makes you the worst for this kind of thing? Besides having both feet in the grave?
[It's not bad, exactly, Fukuzawa isn't mad at him or anything. Feelings are feelings, he would never admonish someone for their feelings. Being the object of those feelings, however, makes him feel embarrassed and insecure. A small part of him feels happy, but that part is overridden by negative thoughts.]
I don't pick partners well, and I drive away anyone who gets close. I'm...I can't be what you need. I'm sorry.
[Also, going unsaid: he's afraid of fucking things up again. His fear is stronger than red string magic this time.]
I don't pick partners well, and I drive away anyone who gets close. I'm...I can't be what you need. I'm sorry.
[Also, going unsaid: he's afraid of fucking things up again. His fear is stronger than red string magic this time.]
Hey. It's a crush, not a commitment or anything... it's not something I'm asking you to reciprocate. Promise.
[ a beat. eiden is very good at talking about his feelings that matter, feelings that glom onto other people. he might have been texting with someone and mentioned letting this feeling Fester and Die because it's silly and totally dumb but he had to go and say it so now he's just remembering to breathe. ]
I've really enjoyed spending time with you and I want to keep spending time with you... if that's okay. I want you to tell me why you don't pick partners well or... why you feel like you have to push people away when they choose to be near you.
[ he hovers with uncertainty. ]
[ a beat. eiden is very good at talking about his feelings that matter, feelings that glom onto other people. he might have been texting with someone and mentioned letting this feeling Fester and Die because it's silly and totally dumb but he had to go and say it so now he's just remembering to breathe. ]
I've really enjoyed spending time with you and I want to keep spending time with you... if that's okay. I want you to tell me why you don't pick partners well or... why you feel like you have to push people away when they choose to be near you.
[ he hovers with uncertainty. ]
...alright. If it's just your feelings, then that will be fine.
[He's still struggling a bit but he can't be mad at how someone feels. As long as nothing is expected of him, then this will be fine. Probably.
He sees the hovering though, so he sighs.]
You can stay, it's fine. I'm not mad.
[That, at least, is a genuine feeling. No red strings attached. Watch him dodge the question about why he's pushing people away though.]
[He's still struggling a bit but he can't be mad at how someone feels. As long as nothing is expected of him, then this will be fine. Probably.
He sees the hovering though, so he sighs.]
You can stay, it's fine. I'm not mad.
[That, at least, is a genuine feeling. No red strings attached. Watch him dodge the question about why he's pushing people away though.]
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