🎧 homophonic | pcs | nicholas d. wolfwood

[silicone]

Lord, what the hell am I doing here?

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[crucifer]

[ (Eiden voice) I'm a luxury few can afford.

He math lady memes. ]

Like... an architect?

[ Like Kaveh? ]

[silicone]

[ he designs for the butt plug millionaire. it's sort of true. ]

... No, not like that.

[ he closes his sketchbook finally. ]

I design sex toys.

[crucifer]

[ Huh. Wow.

He doesn't think he's actually ever heard this because his planet is like. It is. ]

...Don't think I've ever met one of those before.

[ Or frankly. Seen one either. ]

[silicone]

[ yeah like. who has the time on no man's land actually??? ]

... Ta-da.

[ he smiles. ] It's not worth the pay, but it's all I've got so.

[crucifer]

[ Oh people definitely fuck on No Man's Land. Honestly I would not be surprised. People are kind of debauched as hell there. It's just not the crowd that Wolfwood hangs around so like. He knows they're out there...but it's new to him. ]

Job market being tough on you?

[ That sucks, man. ]

Don't think my planet would have better rates.

[silicone]

[ i'm scared thinking about this now ]

It's a real killer back on Earth. I have better prospects in Klein if I'm being honest. And I mean, here I get an allowance. It's crazy.

[ sadly jingles ]

[crucifer]

[ They also made both Vash and Wolfwood significantly hornier in the '98 anime, it's really funny. Like what happened there... ]

I don't know what the difference is. Is that a country or another planet?

The allowance isn't much, but it's better than being totally broke. I work on a per-contract basis myself.

[silicone]

[ so many things??? happened????? puts it in my mouth. ]

It's another... world. Sorry. This whole, getting tossed into a totally different world thing isn't totally new to me.

[ resting his chin in his hand now. ] Per-contract? What a way for a priest to live.

[crucifer]

[ Another world, huh... far be it for him to really question or judge this at this point. ]

Unfortunately, my church is a big stingy, you could say. So I take on a lot of different jobs to make up for it.

Living day-to-day, and all that.

[silicone]

Ah... supplementary income. That sucks. I guess you do what you can on a place called No Man's Land.

[crucifer]

It's pretty on the nose, yeah. Gotta provide and make do.

[silicone]

Okay, but like, isn't the Lord supposed to provide or whatever? Or is that more of an... internal thing. Like he gives you the strength to go through with things instead of just curling up on the ground with a stomach ache.

[crucifer]

Sure, the Lord provides... in the spiritual stuff.

Prayer isn't gonna put food on the table.

[ Though speaking of stomach aches. Thinks of one miserable Vash the Stampede. Please. Pray for him. ]

[silicone]

Definitely never did at the orphanage that's for sure. [ someone pray for vash and his tummy hurty disease. ] Wouldn't expect it to do the same now.

[crucifer]

[ Oh, glancing at Eiden. ]

Orphanage?

[silicone]

[ glancing back at him. ]

Yeah... grew up there.

[crucifer]

Well.

What a coincidence, so did I.

[silicone]

[ eyebrows raise ]

I... didn't see that coming.

Do we get like. Cool club jackets or something?

[crucifer]

No? I think some people told me they could see it.

No cool club jackets for being orphans specifically, but it'd probably be weird to advertise that.

[ Imagine just varsity jackets with ORPHAN across the front. ]

[silicone]

Hmmm, you know [ squints and leans a little ] oh yeah, I can see it now, it's printed in those tiny tiny words right on your forehead...

[ pulling back. ]

Mm yeah, maybe like just an "O" on the back to keep 'em guessing.

[ he's joking please. ]

[crucifer]

It's probably the reflection off my hair.

[ Like Rock Lee's NINJA hair, it spells out ABANDONED AS A CHILD IN THE PARK like a halo. ]

And when people ask what the hell it is, you give 'em a different answer every time.

[silicone]

Yeah! We're like, the...

[ thinks. ]

Orange gang? Opal club? Orgasms anonymous?

[crucifer]

[ Hmm. ]

The last one sounds like a sex club.

[ Which on its own, sure, but it would be WILD to be like 'Organs anonymous?' 'No, orphans.' ]

[silicone]

Definitely a club I'd have gone to when I was younger.

[ you're 23 ]

[crucifer]

I'm not much of a clubs guy. The loud music makes my head kinda hurt.

[ Eiden, aged 23: when I was your age, ]