That does stand out as odd, actually, now that I really think about it. I bought a new pack from Aika on top of everything else just because I knew I was running low, not because I needed one right then...
[ this is going to piss him off later. ]
Well-meaning as it probably is, I think I'd rather just have my emotions. This isn't quite what I meant when I said I wanted to grieve in peace.
[ he reaches for the wine bottle, taking a drink and thinking over it for a moment. ]
... I can rationalize it now when I'm not angry about it. So there's that. I'll be pissed, still, but it's probably someone wanting me to not hurt. Well-intentioned the same way that it was with Shenhe and Matsui, but that just made it worse when it wore off.
That was like putting a bandaid on a crack in a dam, and the crack spreading even further across until it finally breaks - and all the more terrible for it.
You should be allowed to grieve, it's not like you'd go around shooting people's kneecaps off.
[ eiden does not finish that sentence with "even though maybe someone here would deserve it." instead he just hunches over a little quietly, because he's Mad! what the Fuck! ]
If you're going to fucking tranquilize anyone whose lost someone, why not just tranquilize everyone then? It's stupid.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[ nothing about this seems strange to him? hm. ]
Ever since the erasure ended.
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[ uh. ]
You're just feeling super at peace. Just like that, huh?
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[ l m a o ]
Not long after, yeah. [ pausing, thoughtfully. ] You think I'm cursed?
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[ bumping their knees together. ]
I think so. Maybe they thought they were doing you a favor...
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[ this is going to piss him off later. ]
Well-meaning as it probably is, I think I'd rather just have my emotions. This isn't quite what I meant when I said I wanted to grieve in peace.
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[ frowns. ]
Maybe Kyoko can help?
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I'm not sure. [ hrm ] She probably could, but it happened so late in the day I'm not sure if there'd be a point in using up that energy.
If it lasts into tomorrow I'll ask her.
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That works. I'll be pissed off about it today.
[ he doesn't like it! but! what else are you going to do? he can't heal him himself, and he definitely would. his jaw works a little. ]
You can be pissed off about it tomorrow.
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... I can rationalize it now when I'm not angry about it. So there's that. I'll be pissed, still, but it's probably someone wanting me to not hurt. Well-intentioned the same way that it was with Shenhe and Matsui, but that just made it worse when it wore off.
That was like putting a bandaid on a crack in a dam, and the crack spreading even further across until it finally breaks - and all the more terrible for it.
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[ eiden does not finish that sentence with "even though maybe someone here would deserve it." instead he just hunches over a little quietly, because he's Mad! what the Fuck! ]
If you're going to fucking tranquilize anyone whose lost someone, why not just tranquilize everyone then? It's stupid.