[ just gonna give sqq a little time to cool down and then will take a little trip around to try and find him. there aren't that many places to look, and thankfully he decided to check the park first, because he is shen qingqiu trying to become one with the trees. ]
Hey... Shen Qingqiu... [ soft as he walks over to just... squat quietly by him in the grass. ]
[ the stank vibes from earlier have cooled down for sure but it's been replaced with incredibly high levels of DON'T THINK ABOUT IT, DO NOT THINK ABOUT IT, FUCK I'M THINKING ABOUT IT levels of failed meditation. apparently, he's used up all his chill yesterday cause he's just incredibly irritated and feeling it today lads ]
What.
[ ....
a minor blip of apology. he's not mad at you, he swears ]
[ he's startled briefly by the snap, but takes it in stride, just shifting to actually sit tailor fashion, looking at him with a small raise to his brow. ]
Just checking in on you.
[ he feels that apology, and he gets that something else is bothering him so he just leans back to rest with him. ]
If you wanna talk about it, you know me. I won't say anything.
[ with eiden knowing his big honking secret, it makes the act drop far faster than he would bother to and he rubs the bridge of his nose in pure frustration. ]
It's reminding me a little too closely of how the system works.
[ 'it' being execution today. heck, maybe just the whole game in general. the similarities to rang suffering too just because of the rule system hit a little too close to how he ended up there in the first place ]
[ there we go. eiden can tell immediately when the way shen qingqiu speaks changes. he lowers himself a little further so they can be shoulder to shoulder and will turn to look at him, cheek in his palm. ]
... I wasn't expecting that. It felt so unfair.
[ but pivoting back ]
The system does this kind of thing too? What the fuck...
[ there's a small stab of anger, of wanting to just grab on, but he keeps his hands to himself, folded in with his arms. ]
[ his code switching!!! sometimes he doesn't even realize when he does it anymore help ]
The system made its own rules, added its own quest requirements, and, if things didn't go the way it wanted, included a punishment course.
[ and seeing how he completely fucked up and ended up here.... well, the connections aren't hard to see. clearly, his suffering is just ongoing forever ]
[ yeah... y e a h. man. eiden just thinks that's super fucking rank. the vibes are less pity and more anger towards whatever has decided that rules don't need to be static anymore. ]
Really does feel like this wasn't at all how the game was supposed to go. It felt like interference...
[ as he says it, unhappiness creeps in further, sinking. ]
[ he feels so certain on this. everything would have been fine for another week if that... that shark! thing! hadn't appeared in the middle of everything. matsui didn't have a chance to defend himself from a surprise attack like that. it truly was a double murder during execution! there's no other term for it!
his mental wheels are spinning so furiously, eiden can probably sense the smoke from coming from his ears help ]
It was, at least, a setup we had no hope of intervening with.
[ gazing at the sky kind of listless now. because the words "it was interference" make his stomach churn so unhappily. feeling those furious mental gears though, he reaches down and just. grabs his hand, squeezing it. ]
It was a really... really terrible chain reaction. All of it.
[ the 😤 is so strong right now. but he grips eiden's hand just as tightly because lbr, his anger is absolute terror knowing and fearing anything of this nature happening to them as well. He can't fucking protect anyone the way he would be able to at full strength. What use is he or any of their little abilities when shit just comes out of left field!!! ]
I just... really don't want it to happen again.
[ you can tell him you care, sqq. it won't kill you. again. maybe. hm ]
[ noooo the hand grabbing help. eiden just holds on tightly once he realizes it's returned. he doesn't say anything for a long moment, just kind of lets the feeling of their mutual AAAAAAAAAAAAAA vibrate tautly before he just
[ they're just two gays, clutching hands, trying not to feel overwhelmed by the panic and despair of erasure looming behind them. it's fine. it's cool. ]
It would be remiss to say I would be okay with any of you leaving me behind.
[ that's the most long winded version of saying he has a whole singular emotion held for them specifically. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
w2, sunday post-execution
Hey... Shen Qingqiu... [ soft as he walks over to just... squat quietly by him in the grass. ]
no subject
What.
[ ....
a minor blip of apology. he's not mad at you, he swears ]
no subject
Just checking in on you.
[ he feels that apology, and he gets that something else is bothering him so he just leans back to rest with him. ]
If you wanna talk about it, you know me. I won't say anything.
no subject
It's reminding me a little too closely of how the system works.
[ 'it' being execution today. heck, maybe just the whole game in general. the similarities to rang suffering too just because of the rule system hit a little too close to how he ended up there in the first place ]
no subject
... I wasn't expecting that. It felt so unfair.
[ but pivoting back ]
The system does this kind of thing too? What the fuck...
[ there's a small stab of anger, of wanting to just grab on, but he keeps his hands to himself, folded in with his arms. ]
no subject
The system made its own rules, added its own quest requirements, and, if things didn't go the way it wanted, included a punishment course.
[ and seeing how he completely fucked up and ended up here.... well, the connections aren't hard to see. clearly, his suffering is just ongoing forever ]
no subject
Really does feel like this wasn't at all how the game was supposed to go. It felt like interference...
[ as he says it, unhappiness creeps in further, sinking. ]
no subject
[ he feels so certain on this. everything would have been fine for another week if that... that shark! thing! hadn't appeared in the middle of everything. matsui didn't have a chance to defend himself from a surprise attack like that. it truly was a double murder during execution! there's no other term for it!
his mental wheels are spinning so furiously, eiden can probably sense the smoke from coming from his ears help ]
It was, at least, a setup we had no hope of intervening with.
no subject
It was a really... really terrible chain reaction. All of it.
[ haha can u say terrified? ]
no subject
I just... really don't want it to happen again.
[ you can tell him you care, sqq. it won't kill you. again. maybe. hm ]
no subject
laughs, and there's a thread of fear in it. ]
Neither do I. I really like you guys. A lot.
[ it's fine he'll say it. ]
no subject
It would be remiss to say I would be okay with any of you leaving me behind.
[ that's the most long winded version of saying he has a whole singular emotion held for them specifically. ]
no subject
Good. You're stuck with us anyways.
no subject